Monday, November 15, 2010

Why the West is Wild

My city is full of metrosexual rednecks
They preen and cavort with retromullets and bizmos
They babble of dabbling in chemicals

Of course only specific ones

They haggle over obsolete gizmos
Beeping and bleeping and flashing like UFO's

We want to isolate ourselves from the rest
And cheat our IQ and drug tests
We want to be the best for LESS
We want to be more west than THE WEST

We want to make Texans look like New Yorkers
Make too-cool-for-school clothes mules look like STALKERS
Selling their eager stares and product-filled hair like Arabian HAWKERS

And when I say we,
I mean I
And when I say I,
I mean me

All ourselves are selfish souls
Seeking karmic wealth in the land of plenty
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