Wednesday, January 27, 2010

my eyes are bigger than my stomach

i am a child with my hand in the biscuit tin
occasionally i need someone to grab my hand and
slap my face and say:

" stay out of there, you've had more than enough!"

i should be old enough for this
to be understood but
i have learning difficulties

my bed is full of crumbs and though
i shake my sheets out every morning
the late night snacks I persist with
fill the bed back up with crumbs immediately
and make any efforts I make to conceal my habit
completely pointless

the crumbs make me itch like crazy
and my skin is too soft
to withstand all the scratching

biscuits are getting more expensive these days
and i am supposed to be saving my pocket money
so i really am trying to get used
to snacking on carrot sticks and celery

but theyre just not as yummy...

Friday, January 22, 2010

The Dark

...the night slithers towards her

wrapping her arms tightly around herself
she plays the roles of both
distressed maiden and burly protector

and despite her tiny frame
she plays both with equal aplomb

staring with quiet strength and steely defiance
into the creeping, leering darkness
she glares straight at the sharp, crooked teeth
displayed haphazardly in its maw of a mouth

she shivers and bites her lip
takes a deep breath and says:

"Im not scared of you anyway!"

flicks the switch
and the light comes on.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


It must be a genetic memory

buried deep in my dna

an inherited aesthetic

something to do with arrangement and structure

unexplainable by human words

and as inevitable as entropy

but the bottom line is

I cant keep my eyes off her bones.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Animal (jungle fever)

on an island filled with jungle
we were prowling the beaten track
swatting mosquitos
the heat made me swell
and it made you melt

and it made us both


we detoured into a clearing
surrounded by coconut trees
we husked ourselves

I pawed and lapped at your fur
while you took my tail in your mouth and
and gorged

then we stumbled out back into the wet air
and the sun
and joined the rest of the animals

years later when I heard what you did
through friends
and crazy stories in the newspaper
I always remembered that you

were obviously
even back then
an Animal.

tops (no rest for the wicked)

about 1:30 we find ourselves on the corner of little whatever and something or other street. doormen everywhere are telling us we cant get in cos we're not attractive females and we dont have attractive females with us, which is fair enough and it IS something that we deserve to be penalized for. .. so we're thinking what we should do and im trying to rouse some troops and theyre acting too drunk sleepy and non-committal to my plans of finding and looting the ultimate utopian bar filled with drunken nymphomaniac women for my liking, but what can you do?

there are about five girls standing on the same corner we're on. there all a bit cute and ones crazy cute. the crazy cute one says: "do you know where the something or other bar is. I say no, havent lived in this city for all that long. I ask them if they'd like to be attractive females and help us get into the last damn bar we were trying to get into. ok, they say so we cross the road and walk to the lounge, which is a niceish bar, although bogan and I say:

"look here, noble doorkeep, as agreed, I have brought a bevy of fair maidens to this den of opulence and ale that you so valiantly guard, please open the doors my good man, that we may lead these fair maidens in and consume what we will!"

or something like that, my memory is a bit hazy.

he says: no.

fuck you man, I say to myself, but not to him, as Im getting my smooth and polite young man on tonite. crazy cute says: do you guys wanna go to tramp? youll like it, its a stripclub, bit crazier than your standard one too.. going to to a stripclub with a group of beautiful women can be quite a nice night out in my experience, so yes please is my answer.

at this point I realise that my mate has skived off, he got too drunk and did the phantom fade into a taxi and off to his hotel for beddy byes.

I hope that sleep was worth it, man..

love recession

Economist Peter Backus says
his chances of finding true love are 1 in 285,000
the formula he uses is called the Drake Equation
it takes into account the number of women he will ever meet
who share his interests
appeal to him sexually
and have the right body chemistry

and of course they must also find him equally appealing
sexually and otherwise

no shit

So, verbatim, he says:

"The good news for singles is, its probably not your fault."

(Disclaimer: If instead of someone reliant on the outcome of the Drake Equation, you were as rich and successful a man as the rapper Drake, you would have more than 285,000 single women trying to rape you on a daily basis.)


To get laid and loved, be an r&b rapper, not an economist.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

dietary gay pussy LetItBeatles (William H Burroughs has been reincarnated in my inbox)

eqqos lol I'm just playing babe, your cookies are enough MarcHustvedt streamys buzz brewing on nbc LA: I'll pass word on to the team Take a look at the beloved children Jordan Morris In this one, I meet Megan Fox and behave oddly ride sucks monkey nuts and twidroid is no better, what other options do I have coreyaubuchon because of people saying "I wish my awesome iPhone wasn't on super lame AT&T"
Persistence: Failing your way to success Quote of the day: Follow YFame the dude is a beast, Im gonna let him bless my beautiful tracks,he didnt ask me to do this, yall just need to Rocky2Real nothing much dude, just chilling on it tryna decide if I wanna make some music or chill with this female, hmmmm FreeMyBroAngel worldsthickestbook "how to put incantations in your songs and make them sound cool and hip" by Rihanna Wow, only 92 this Sunday

Sunday, January 10, 2010

tease (what you want to do)

Fuck the beautiful loser
What you want to do is be the ugly winner
Ignore the flick of the lighter
Moisturise and make a date with the sun

Duck the dutiful boozer
What you want to do is free the upbeat singer
Abhor the cliques and the violence
Hoist your mind up and pray but only for fun

Luck is due to the loser
What you want to do is see the unseen glimmer
Score the pick of the riot
Foist your kind upon the hatred filled ones

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

xanaxia nervosa

sometimes you are damned if you do and you are damned if you dont.

and you are damned if you do and then dont.

take the thing the man with the white coat gives you for the thing that obstructs your id, forces you to have to see a man with a white coat and instills in you a need that you didnt have before


dont take the thing the man with the white coat gives you and let your id be obstructed


take the thing, have your id unobstructed whilst the thing is active and


like breadcrumbs
when the need to not feel like you are
the only human on earth who is aware of its own death takes

you from the clutches of beauty and understanding to

hell slowly fucking you
as if you disgust them


xanaxia nervosa