Thursday, December 31, 2009

only until tomorrow

Wistful watchers

wait by the water.

The day dies in rapture

but only until tomorrow.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Holler (so I picked my smile up from the floor)

So I picked my smile up from the floor and slapped it hard onto my face
Until I felt comfortable with it there
And it stopped looking out of place

And I put my daydreams aside for a day
And my nightmares aside for a night

And did as much as I could
To turn my wrongs to right

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

No Pension

Hey babeeee..

Yeah Ive been drinking
And maybe
I was thinking..
Maybe...
You'd wanna come home with me?
We could have sex or just watch a movie?

I swear by the time we hit the curb you'll see
There's more to me
Than what you see
A drunken drunk stumbling around drunkenly

I know these guys that I came out with
Are rowdy and loud
Im not too stupid or proud
I understand how you
Could get the wrong impression about me

But trust me I'm completely self-centred
And this head-space I'm in
Im just renting

I'm saving up for a mansion
We could live in it together
I've got no money as yet
I've got a big plan
But no pension

Monday, December 21, 2009

ex

I don't remember how we used to argue several times a day about whatever we could find to form opinions on and snipe at each other like a couple that had been married for 25 years, but I remember how you would stroke my hair and hug me when I was curled up in a ball sucking on pills with black dogs chewing on my serotonin and white doves flying away with my self preservation.

I don't remember how you would turn me down for sex saying you weren't feeling well but I remember how you would smile immediately afterward, cheeky and wicked and cutely deviant, and say that didn't mean you wouldn't give me some loving..

I don't remember that I couldn't make a worthy commitment to you after years of being for your eyes only and you for mine, but I do remember how I could happily lay in bed with you for days and was happier watching shit television at home with you than I was going out anywhere, even to see strippers and smoke rocks.


I don't remember how I thought it was strange that you loved bands who sang almost exclusively about being drug-fucked losers and didn't touch anything of that nature yourself, and how you hated the fact that I was a drug-fucked loser whilst you didn't touch anything of that nature yourself, but I remember realizing later on that half of my favorite bands were inherited from you, despite holding my own aesthetic tastes in obscenely high regard. This was all well beyond irony.

I don't remember how I thought our love wasn't hot enough and that there was something missing, but I do remember, even three years later, that you set a benchmark for any future love I would have and I haven't met anyone who even comes close.

Now my standards seem prohibitively high and I'm always forgetting that
I have a bad memory.

the little death

cant sleep
something wrong
skin too hot
mind full of flesh
no room for zzz

to clear it out
strip right down
lay back
love myself

until

the little death

i die on my own
feels just fine

i mourn with white tears
bask in the wake

eyelids heavy
im beautifully empty
and

i fall asleep

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Tiger Would

Im shivering and chilly so I smoke
I'm as horny as I am broke
The only number longer than my debt figure
Is the time in seconds since my last grope

And my last poke at the pretty women-folk
Was so long ago its a joke

And that jokes about as funny as this one:

"Tiger woods was never really after that hole-in-one."

And to his wife that one probably doesn't seem as funny as it does to me
And as I made it up and usually laugh at my own jokes
And I'm not laughing
I concede

I cant distinguish between comedy

and tragedy

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

human

ignore everything you heard and throw yourself in the pit; dont worry if you seize up and ball your fists and throw fits and say nice things to nasty people and nasty things to nice ones or feel guilty when your innocent or restless when your tired or tired when you should be resting..
dont worry because theres no such thing as normal and nothing really starts at the beginning and nothing ever really ends and existence is a beautiful myth we're lucky to believe in and we believe in it because we're

human

Roast

I feel raw. I need to be cooked. I'm going to go sleep in the oven. I want to bake until my skin is a tasty and crispy crust and my insides are cooked to perfection, my flesh still rare and a little bloody, but yielding, firm, tasty and juicy.

I've stuffed myself with rocket, spinach leaves, bacon and grapes and I've smeared myself with rock salt, fresh pepper and four different types of oil and I'm going to roast myself until I'm a hearty and delicious meal.

There's plenty of food for everyone, so dig in!