Wednesday, November 18, 2009

a need to grieve

My bed is full of cigarettes and bits of weed and chicken and carelessly scrawled words
and so am I and Ive got five hours until I hop onto a plane to Perth. An hour to clean myself and pack some clothes is all I need. That and a hug from my dad and sister.

The exact words my dad had said to me were:

“Do you feel bereft?”

I was and the tone of his voice said he was too. Choking on tears and love and cherished memories

bereft

I’m making my way to the ones I love and we’ll think about the one we love that’s missing and we’ll cry and grieve properly together.

We’re going to have a great old time!

I hope they haven’t done too much without me because I can’t cry in front of strangers and sometimes, like right now, I can’t cry on my own.

And I miss my beautiful amazing grandpa and I need to grieve