Friday, October 16, 2009


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postie (post me)

Somewhere along the line i bought myself a beautiful cage
i hopped inside and stuck a postage stamp on the side

i thought i had become too used to freedom
i couldnt take joy in its presence
and the luxuries of comfort
made me boring and self-satisfied

so everything i had that was worth money was sold
and all the small change that the sales amounted to
i put in my back pocket and then i waited in the cage for the postie
to take me somewhere new

now im in the back of the posties van
and thats most definitely a start of some kind
but its quite dark and im not really sure where were going

im hoping my writing was legible enough
that he can make out the postal code

but at the same time i dont know
if its a good or a bad thing
that i gave no return address

fuck kansas

I woke up with grand dreams this morning. I thought about my career and how I needed to make sure that I balanced work and play correctly.

I dont want to burn out too young.

I thought about how I needed to make astute financial decisions so I could enjoy my wealth but also make sure I invested in my future as well as my present.

I thought about the beautiful woman that would greet me for breakfast with a deep kiss and a loving hug and sexy adoration in her eyes.

Then I slapped myself and tried to shake the sleep from my mind, made myself a cup of instant coffee, sat by myself in my little flat and looked at every job vacancy notice I could find

with growing desperation

Thursday, October 15, 2009

plan

He had no wish to break any records for celibacy
and knew he was a cheap date
with expensive tastes

nonetheless he was still aware
that he had no one to blame but himself
if he wanted someone to buy his wares
he would have to sell them

so

he made a plan of attack
centered around
the proper execution
of alpha male chatter
at all future friday night drinks

and resolved to up his witty banter output
at saturday afternoon bbqs

and to work on his small talk craft in breakfast cafes for sexy people

maybe then he'd get back what he deserved
or at least wanted

the euphoria of pheromones
and the direction that comes with need

so he buckled down and

prepared himself for chartreuse gropes
cigarette kisses
and cocaine hugs

with a bunker mentality

and a new pair of sunglasses

Life is sometimes boring


Life is sometimes boring

You might have to :

• get high
• get low
• climb walls
• hold your breath for as long as you can without passing out
• See how often can get out of trouble (that may or may not have been caused by you)
• You may, for extended periods of time, have to alternate between the exclusive consumption or abstinence of juice and milk and caffeine and antioxidants and smoke and wine and chickpeas and as much oily salty animal flesh is you can shove in your grease stained mouth

This is the way of the world

None of these activities in themselves may move you forward in life or aid your well-being immediately. But if they do not immediately manifest themselves in improved mental and physical health.

If nothing else
They will take your mind off the fact that

Life is sometimes boring

Monday, October 5, 2009

the blind leading the confused

I feel I could not help being at least a somewhat more honest man
if my vision was gone

In my journey to find the woman who would understand me and love me and follow me to the ends of the earth; precisely where I plan on going

I would have no other choice but to rely upon

the honesty of a woman
her integrity and intelligence
and whether or not her husky voice
made me feel warm and fuzzy and lustful

By necessity I would be less of a shallow man
to outside observers

Nice breasts, shapely thighs, a beautiful face, plump lips
and a sexy round posterior

Would be impossible attributes to ascertain
from a distance

but I worry that after all my other senses
were heightened that things like

sexy voices, intelligent conversations, good intentions
etc..

would simply be new aspects of a person for me judge

And honesty, integrity and intelligence
call all be faked

and a husky voice can be worked on and perfected.

Which is is a good thing.

It keeps us all on guard.

happy is as happy does

Happy is as happy does

write a list of your grievances on a piece of paper
and burn it

watch it burn

Spend 5 minutes thinking about everything that hurts you, brings you down, casts a gloomy pallor on your existence

ruminate on how these things cause you pain
realize some of these problems may never go away

but with time most of them probably will

Then have a glass of wine and watch a funny movie.

If you still feel like you have been run-over by a hearse.

repeat.

Finally, if you find no alleviation to your pain in these admittedly lazily thought out get-happy quick remedies...

Find someone who seems to be struggling with life's problems even more than yourself and offer them a smile, a big hug and kiss, and the words of encouragement that you yourself deserve.

Good things come to good people

Finally accept a big hug and kiss from myself.

Because for the same reasons listed above I need one too.

Friday, October 2, 2009

ready!

I woke up this morning incredibly unrefreshed

and dissatisfied after a particularly meagre serving of sleep.

My circadian clock keeps horrible time for [1] and Im act[2]ally pretty inclin[3]d

to throw it out [4] good.

My blanket lay beaten and bloody on the floor

I assume it had started a fight with me in the night; it does love to try on the
old bearhug routine when it thinks I’m not paying attention

My pillows were scattered around the room

evidently they thought five on one was a fair fight… At least they’ll think twice next time

But life goes on of course so I ran myself a nice hot bath of coffee..

brushed my eyes and
scraped my body clean

and with a crack of the neck and a mouthful of carbon monoxide

I was ready for the glorious day ahead!

brown eyes in a bar doing a mating dance

A pair of brown eyes
female and beautiful
sing siren lullabies
silently
by way of stare and flutter

and peek out from under a fringe
manicured like a millionaire's prized hedge

at

Another pair of eyes
owned by a young man who
is much taken with
the owner of said former eyes

He replies briefly with his own gaze
but realizes with shy resignation
that to compete with such visual charisma
may be folly

And so lowers his eyes
they too, brown
back to his drink and cigarettes
at least for a minute to regroup
and muster up enough
mojo to do the

mating dance again.

Mr T says it better


I have two left

I could either take both of them and worry about getting more

later

Or I could just have one now and then have one later

and worry about getting more tomorrow

or I could grin and bear it for as long as I can...

But I pity the fool who asks why I'm such a moody little fucker..

Mr T says it better than I can.