Friday, August 14, 2009

I'm 100% sure that no one I love will ever die.

Today I went to see my dad.
I like to see him.
I love him.

We sit together and drink wine.

* His beautiful dad
* My beloved grandpa
* My family's own perfect patriarch

Is d*****.

He spent most of World War Two
A prisoner of war

And doesn't hate anyone.

He's got that stiff upper lip
That you rarely see anymore

And he's d****.

I think.

But there's no point in crying

Over milk
That isn't spilt yet.

I write that self-made slogan on a mental post-it note
And staple it to the synapses
In my mind.
I understand we're all d****
Just at different speeds.

My dad's aware of this too
And without a word he agrees.


My dad asks me if I have any weed.

I laugh and look at him like he's my son
And I'm his dad.

I'm just playing though.

It's one of those funny things.

If he's happy
He won't be sad.

A funny sound and sight.
My dad looks like the professorly type.
He lectures me all night.

I listen mostly eagerly
Because I appreciate the advice.

We empty out the ends of cigarettes
Put pot in them
And get high.

He stumbles off to bed
And tells me not to drink too much.

I love him
I think about just how much

And how much I want to become
The successful young adult
Who's done the things
He acts like I've already done.

Uncondition love from a father to his son
with no provisions

My lip stiffens
And more than ever
I resolve to get those things done.

I stay up by myself for a while
And in the warm haze of darkness
I realise

That whether my opinion is

Obscured by black facts
Or white lies

I'm 100% sure that

No one I love will ever die.
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